My. God. This is the biggest bedroom I have ever seen,” she exclaimed. “This is bigger than my entire apartment.“How many closets do you have?” she asked.“Hey,” I asked, “what happened to ‘take me to bed NOW,’” I asked. “Do I need to go find a two-by-four?”“Oh, poo,” she retorted, “Don’t be a spoilsport. If this is going to be where I’m living, I need to know where my closet is.”I just shook my head. I was once again convinced, as if there had ever been ANY doubt, the more I thought I knew about women – the less I really did understand.I finally had to point out to Christy which closet would be hers ... a walk-in closet. She gasped again when she saw the size.“This CLOSET is bigger than my entire bedroom. Oh, My God! Is that a vanity with sink in the closet!“And a desk where I can sit down and put on makeup? What about mirrors? I have to have mirrors! Only two full length mirrors?“Oh, My God! How many shoes will that thing hold? The shoe closet is bigger than my closet now.“Oh, My. Any biped without a phallus, to them, is an egg repository. Females, you see, are equipped with a phallic shaped ovipositor. Males, on the other hand, seek out 'ripe' neuters by smell. Once the eggs have been deposited, their smell clings to the carrier until a male fertilizes them. The young then gestate within the neuter's body until they give birth to live babies. It's all very fascinating!" Fascinating it may be," I said, "but I still don't see..." but then I did!"Of course! 'Any biped without a phallus will do'!" I said, "So a woman can be raped by a female indigene, having the eggs deposited inside her, then raped again by a male, to fertilize the eggs!"Gail caught on too, "So women wear strap-ons to simulate having a phallus and avoid being attacked by the females! Clever! But why don't you just keep the indigenes out of spaces where humans are?"Guzman and the rest looked at us in horror."This is THEIR planet!" the president exclaimed, "We are only guests here! Our ancestors.
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